Though many things are good for us and we maybe aim to do and maintain them, we actually spend a lot of time procrastinating on them. In the last post I mentioned the 12 commandments by Gretchen Rubin as a good starting point for a change. I aimed to write down my own with help of her example but recognized that even this I postponed for after I finished my work, after lunch, after a walk and so on..
Sometimes you just have to hit an inner button and say “now!”
First I thought I will take a long time creating my list but just after closing my eyes and thinking about :
- Quotes and affirmations you always wanted to live by but never actually sticked to
- Situations in which you wished you have behaved differently
- Habits you think are not serving you but keeping you from living the life you want
Though my list of 12 commandments got a list of 9 commandments I am still quite content about having set them but now it’s about sticking to them – seriously and consistently, which is a really hard challenge.
Here is my list of commandments, as an evidence that I am really concerned about them it is important to write them down
- Be mindful about what you say, do and eat
- Don’t compare with anything
- Enjoy now
- Be the shore in a storm
- Be gentle and show love
- Be okay with how you are
- Act the way you want to feel
- Be light
Be mindful, always
I took meditation as a habit I want to focus on and practice. With help of sitting regularly in conscious breathing and awareness of my surroundings I am able to improve my life quality. The benefits of meditation are immense and surely you have heard of some like concentration, stress release and inner peace. But meditation itself isn’t just sitting and being aware of the breath, to me it also means being mindful about as many activities, thoughts, sensations as possible on every day. This is more effective and does not force me to sit every day but “daylish” , meaning that skipping one day is not the end of my habit or my regularity and also not a disaster.(The term “daylish” regarding to meditation I have taken from Dan Harris. He runs a really nice podcast called “10 % Happier” and has published a book with the same name.)
The same goes with mindfulness. In the beginning, I was very self-critical when recognizing that I haven’t been conscious at one point or while doing something because I got distracted or turned on autopilot. Criticizing oneself as a way of dealing with it doesn’t make anything better. This is easier said than done but also your response on your behaviour is learnable.
Ever heard the sentence: “Forgive yourself” ?
Well, it is not about making the same mistakes and then telling yourself “Ah, nevermind, shit happens” or something alike but analysing the situation that went wrong and taking actions so that it will not happen a second time and if it does there shall be no self-punishment because we are habitual human-beings, because we need to get used to a new kind of thought and behavioural pattern. Questions like “What can I do better next time?” “What kept me from following my new habit?” “What are potential triggers that lead me fall into the behaviour or thought I want to get rid of?” need to be considered. Too much analysing might be no good as well, but in some cases when listening to your own sensations didn’t help you need to get clear of the situation.
Opening my glorious blue notebook where I have written done many interesting things, I would like to share one gong – the ones mentioned in the last post.
Ask yourself what you feel (and why). Questions to ask your body and your mind: Where do I feel anxiety or tensions? Does it feel warm or cold? Where does it come from, what is the core location of it and in what direction it extends? How is this feeling serving me? What is tried to suppress?
These can be combinated very well with a meditation, laying or sitting and allows you to get clear on your emotions. Anxiety is not the only one, so this practice fits to all kinds of feelings.