When is the time to forgive?

Yes, it’s true I haven’t written a week review last week but here comes a juicy review of week number 39.

This morning I woke up and my first thought was „Had this been the last sunny days..?“ Meaning the last days of Indian summer when I gazed at the sunset and thought this one would be the last. „No“ I answered myself out loud. „This have not been the last sunny days for sure because I am not ready for winter yet.“ I laughed ironically, thinking of the last winter depression, of the never ending nights and days I didn’t feel because I was at school until the sun went down.

This week was the week of public transport and phone time because I feel I haven’t done anything more than spending time on these two things. It wasn’t an important week but one where I tried to intervene my dusty meditation habit into my daily routine again. And what I can say is – there is no need in putting so much pressure and professionalism into it because it’s simply about breathing and being aware. Beginning with recognising that I haven’t been aware right now makes me feel that neediness.

Also being aware of your own thoughts and the way I speak to myself makes such a difference of how I feel. I can laugh about myself sometimes but most of the times it’s only self-criticism and judgement. Surely, it has been proved and advised a thousand times already, but experiencing the awareness of your own inner voice and its traits makes the difference. Again reading and listening to advice and guides is not the same as actually experiencing them and discovering them on your own. The same is with stretching yourself, this week I noticed how often I stretched my legs and spine out of impulse! This is so good if you feel that you have that urge to stretch out and do what your body needs in that moment.

Oftentimes the only way for peace is forgiveness

However, yesterday I really wanted to do a workout or just some yoga but I didn’t feel good enough and my body felt full and bloated. I was upset, as if I had betrayed myself (with myself lol) but then I came to the point of being aware of my own thoughts: I needed to forgive myself for not doing what I planned. I needed to offer myself the care and love I deserved when feeling so bad. Most of us are not acting like this, we drag ourself down even more, as if we were our own enemy. And even though I still feel guilty of not having exercised I am accepting the decision my body has taken. What else can I do? I have no choice than forgiving myself otherwise I would destroy myself with anger. Oftentimes the only way for peace is forgiveness, I learned this not through life but through the books of Buddhist monks like Mathieu Ricard and Thich Nhat Hanh.

Radical Acceptance is a term I do not like to hear because it is so hard for me to reach this state. Though, it will haunt you and me through our whole life with every mistake and every step backwards. Maybe some day, some beautiful sunny day I will be able to laugh about it all, the mistakes and the criticism. This will be success in its purity.

Before I finish here are some really nice things I came across in the past few days:

If you are looking for a general guide on how to introduce more sustainability into your life and home I can truly recommend A-Z of Sustainability by melaniejadedesign

My favourite meal from last week was probably this amazing bake of Tofu, Plantains and Sweet Potatoes by afrovitalityeats.com

If you are from Germany or know German I would definitely tell you to check out this nice project about plastic by the bundjugend NRW – They will make a series about getting to know plastic and how to reduce it in your life.

Happy start into the week for you all! Lots of love