feels like i’m never coming out

It is never too late to change 

But I keep on laying in bed

Keep on eating to much

Keep on swiping through media 

Keep on being a self 

I feel uncomfortable with 

What is this force that keeps 

Pulling up my shoulders? 

What is this force that keeps telling me 

I don’t look good? 

And every night I send prayers to the sky

May I feel better & become a self 

I am truly proud of

May this suffering have an end 

What are you afraid of, my dear? 

-What did you do last week?  

– Who do you plan to become? 

-Where do those pimples come from? 

– Why does everything has to go wrong? 

Why can’t I live the life I want? 

My instagram feed 

Tells me how to 

breathe

How to eat 

How to move 

How to think 

But never do I really know 

What to do exactly 

So overwhelmed by all 

Those mantras, quotes & recipes 

Rules & guides 

To transform my life 

They say, I believe 

Lull myself 

In a dream 

I seem to live in 

Virtual sunsets, dinners & sleepovers 

I have never attended & probably never will 

I am stuck in trains & maybes

Trying to wait patiently 

Fort the moment 

I start to live