About right decisions and gap time

„I feel like this is not what I want. I don’t feel it. I don’t feel what I am doing is right.“

A friend of mine called me after skipped the station for university. Instead he stayed in the train and got out at a lake. „This does not feel like I wanted it to.“ I was about to say that there are always things that are less likeable than others but this was a different case.

„What was your motivation to study anyway?“

„My parents wanted me to and I didn’t know what else to do and it’s not that I hate what I do entirely. I like my courses but at the same time it reminds me too much of school. I have no idea of the vastness of the university, everything is so empty. And I think I am just too young for this.“

You made the right decision to listen to your intuition and have this gap in your day to think about what is actually important to you.

I was so glad to hear someone have this realisation, this point of unconditional openness to oneself.

How do you know that you will make the right decision?

This TED Talk is a good introduction if you are dealing with decisions you cannot take right now.

In the essence, it is all about our reasons. When something doesn’t feel good, when your subconsciousness keeps you in the train and your body feels uncomfortable with a vision of choice you are about to make then this is a good indicator. When a decision is good for someone else and not for you then you should be very aware of why you are doing this. In the end, we are disappointed and unhappy with ourselves.

„You know maybe I want to become a goldsmith when everything won’t work out. I am thinking of applying for arts academy.“

„Do it!“ I insisted because I could feel so strongly that he was at a point of realisation what he really wanted. I didn’t matter what his parents wanted.

„When I wanted to go abroad, my mother was shocked. She didn’t want me to go by any chance. She thought I wouldn’t study afterwards and for her studying was the life ticket she hadn’t gotten. But when I was abroad and also after I came back, she realised that this was the best thing I could have done. In the end, she understood my decision and your parents will too, I am sure“

„Hm, I am not so sure of this. But I also don’t care anymore“